Documentaries Prògraman Aithriseachd

[Donna Barden] Tha iomadh bliadhna a-nis bho bha tubaist aig an duine agam, Alasdair. Bha e a’ sgèith ann an rud leis an t-ainm gyrocopter agus gu mì-fhortanach thàinig e sìos agus chaidh a mharbhadh. Chan eil e fad às bhon an taigh againn fhèin. Bha an t-àm a bha sin gu math, gu math duilich, agus uabhasach, agus iomadach uair a’ smaoineachadh gun robh cùisean dha-rìribh a-mach à ruitheam. Ach tha cuimhne a’m am measg na bha a’ tachairt an uair sin tha cuimhne agam smaoineachadh gur e an creideamh agam agus an creideamh a bha sin an aon rud a bha làidir agus an aon rud a bha ’s dòcha a bha a’ dèanamh ciall leis a h-uile càil eile a’ tuiteam timcheall. Bha mi gu mòr a’ ceasnachadh Dia agus na thachair, agus gu mòr a’ smaoineachadh “uill, carson a leig e le rudan cho uabhasach tachairt? Nach b’ urrainn Dha a bhith air a shàbhaladh? ’S dòcha fiù ’s air a ghoirteachadh ach gun a thoirt air falbh gu lèir”. ’S mar sin bha mise, seo an t-àm ’s dòcha, fiadhaich le Dia. Carson a thug E air falbh e? Ach cuideachd bha agam ri smaoineachadh uill bha, tha a h-uile duine againn, ’s urrainn dhuinn ar toil fhèin a dhèanamh agus ’s e air toil Alasdair a bh’ ann, a bhith a’ dèanamh, fhios a’d, sgèith agus bha e a’ còrdadh ris gu mòr, agus ’s e tubaist a bh’ ann, agus chan eil mi, ’s dòcha às dèidh sin, a’ smaoineachadh “uill ’s dòcha gun robh Dia a cheart cho duilich ’s a bha mi fhèin”.

[Donna Barden] Bha a’ chlann gu math òg. Bha Dòmhnall dìreach ceithir agus Teàrlach faisg air a bhith seachd mìosan agus bha sin na uallach mòr. Bha e cho math gun robh iad ann ach bha e cuideachd na uallach a’ smaoineachadh dè mar a bha iad gu bhith às aonais athar. Uill tha sinn glè fhortanach a bhith a’ fuireach ann an coimhearsnachd mar seo far a bheil daoine anns a’ chiad àite mothachail air mar a tha thu a’ faireachdainn ’s na tha air tachairt dhut. Bha daoine air leth taiceil agus cuideachail ann an iomadach dòigh agus a’ feuchainn gu mòr ri ar cuideachadh ’s taic a thoirt dhuinn. Ach uaireannan feumaidh tu a bhith leat fhèin cuideachd, ’s tha thu feumach air àite nach eil ’s dòcha daoine, bheil fhios agad, airson smaoineachadh air mar na thachair, ach tha teaghlach glè chudromach agus bha an teaghlach agamsa air leth taiceil agus math dhomh – fios a’m gum b’ urrainn dhomh a dhol thuca agus bhiodh iad a’ tighinn thugam. Ach cuideachd, bha fios aca cuin a bu chòir dhaibh àite a thoirt dhuinn airson a bhith leinn fhèin. Tha cuimhne agam fhathast, an t-àm a thachair e, gun robh mi a’ faireachdainn gur e Dia agus Esan ag ràdh gun tigeadh rud math a-mach à rud a bha cho dona. Bha sin ga mo chumail-sa a’ dol bhon cha robh mise ga fhaicinn agus cha robh mi ga thuigsinn idir, idir, idir. Ach tha fhios a’m gun robh sin gam chumail-sa a’ dol bhon cha robh càil eile a’ dèanamh ciall aig an àm – bha a h-uile càil buileach a-mach à rian. Ach bhon uair sin tha mise air a bhith a’ faighinn faireachdainn làidir gu bheil cùisean glè mhath. Saoilidh mi gur e Dia a tha a’ toirt dhomh cofhurtachd ann a bhith a’ faireachdainn gu bheil rudan sìmplidh cho math, mar bheil fios agad, a bhith a’ fuireach far a bheil sinn a’ fuireach, dachaigh cho math ’s daoine cho math timcheall oirnn. Saoilidh mise anns an dòigh sin gu bheil Dia gar cuideachadh. Chan eil sinn feumach air càil. Tha sinn air faighinn air adhart ann an iomadach dòigh. Chan eil Alasdair ann mar a bha dùil againn ach saoilidh mi gu bheil sinn air a bhith a’ faighinn taic ann an dòighean eile air sgàth mar a thachair. Cuideachd tha mi a’ faireachdainn bho tha bliadhnaichean air a dhol seachad bho thachair an tubaist, ’s dòcha gun robh E airson eisimpleir air choreigin a shealltainn, bheil fhios agad, an dùil gu bheil feum aig rudan mar seo tachairt airson toirt air daoine dùsgadh ’s faicinn, uill, chan eil e gu bhith mar a tha thusa ag iarraidh fad na tìde agus feumaidh tu dìreach gabhail ris agus leantainn ort agus mar sin tha e air a bhith na leasan – leasan gu math cruaidh, feumaidh mi ag ràdh – ach uaireannan bidh mi cantainn rium fhèin “uill ’s dòcha, bha Alasdair ann is abair gun robh sinn toilichte airson an tàm a bha e ann agus ’s dòcha gun robh seo doirbh leantainn le ar beatha, an ùine a bha esan còmhla rinn. Nuair a smaoinicheas mi air a h-uile càil còmhla, saoilidh mi gu bheilmise air fàs nas dlùithe ri Dia agus nas fhaisge, agus nas tuigseach ’s dòcha gu bheil iomadach rud na do bheatha ach gu bheil sinn gu lèir air slighe gun an aon dheireadh, gum bi rudan gu lèir ag oibreachadh airson math, às bith de tha a’ tachairt agus tha Dia a’ cantainn sin rinn - às bith dè tha a’ tachairt, ged a bhios e dona, ’eil fhios agad, gun tig math às ann an dòigh air choreigin. Agus chan fheum sinne fhaicinn. Chan eil mi ag ràdh gu bheil sinne a’ dol ga fhaicinn. Saoilidh mi gu bheil, gu ìre, ’eil fios, ’s dòcha gu bheil sinne ga fhaicinn air sgàth, ’eil fios agad, tha sinn air faighinn air adhart agus, ’eil fhios agad, tha Dia air a bhith a’ coimhead às ar dèidh ’s tha sinn slàn fallain fhathast co-dhiù, agus mar sin air adhart, ach nuair a tha cùisean a’ dol a-mach à rian, gun tig e ceart, ’eil fhios agad. Cha do thuig mi? mar a bha ach ’s dòcha gu ìre eile, chànainn-sa gun tig a h-uile càil ri chèile ma tha thu gu bhith dha-rìribh a’ dol a chur do chreideimh ann an Dia agus san t-saoghal mar a tha Dia ga iarraidh.

Chaidh am prògram seo, Alleluia, a chraoladh an toiseach ann an 2009.

[Donna Barden] Many years have passed since my husband, Alasdair, had an accident . He was flying in something called a gyrocopter and unfortunately it came down and he was killed. It wasn’t far away from our own house. That time was very, very hard, and terrible, and many times thinking that things were really out of sync. But I remember amongst what was happening then I remember thinking that my faith, and that belief was the one thing that was strong and the one thing that perhaps made sense with everything falling apart. I was really questioning God and what happened, and really thinking “well, why did he let something so awful to happened? Couldn’t He have saved him? Maybe have been hurt but not taken away all together”. And with that I was, this is the time perhaps, angry with God. Why did He take him away? But also I had to think well, all of us, we can do what we like and it was Alasdair’s choice, to be doing, you know, flying, and he enjoyed it a lot, and it was an accident, and I’m not, maybe after that, thinking “well maybe God was just as sad as I was myself”.

[Donna Barden] The children were very young. Dòmhnall was just four and Teàrlach was close to seven months and that was a big responsibility. It was so good that they were there but it was also the responsibility thinking about how they were going to be without a father. Well we were very fortunate to be living in a community like this where people are firstly considerate of how you are feeling and what has happened to you. People were very supportive and helpful in many ways and really trying to help us and to give us support. But at times you need to be on your own too, and you need a place where there perhaps aren’t people, you know, for thinking about what happened, but family is very important and my family were very supporting and good to me - I knew that I could go to them and they would come to me. But also, they knew when they should give us space to be by ourselves. I still remember, the time that it happened, I was feeling that God, He was saying that something good would come out of something so bad. That kept me going because I didn’t see it and I didn’t understand it at all, at all, at all. But I know that that was keeping me going since nothing made sense at the time - everything was completely out of order. But since then I have been getting a strong sense that things are pretty good. I think that it is God that is giving me comfort in sensing that simple things are so good, as you know, living where we live, such a good home and such good people around us. I think in that way that God is helping us. We don’t need anything. We are gotten along in many ways. Alasdair isn’t here as we expected but I think we have been getting support in other ways because of what happened. Also I feel that as years are going by since the accident happened, maybe He wanted to show some sort of example, you know, as though things like this have to happen for people to wake up and see, well, it isn’t going to be as you want it all the time and you just to accept it and carry on and so it has been a lesson – a very hard lesson, I must say - but sometimes I say to myself “well maybe, Alasdair was here and we were so happy for the time that he was here and maybe it was hard to carry on with our lives, the time that he was with us”. When I think of everything together, I think that I have grown closer to God and nearer, and more undestanding maybe that there are many things in your life but we are all on a journey to the one ending, that everything works out well, whatever is happening and God says that to us - whatever happens, even if it is bad, you know, good will come from it in someway. And we don’t have to see it. I’m not saying that we are going to see it. I think, to an extent, you know, maybe we see itbecause, you know, we are getting along and, you know, God has been looking after us and we are still healthy anyway, and so on, but when something go out of sync, that it will come proper, you know. I? didn’t understand how it was but maybe to another extent, I’d say that everything will come together if you truly put you faith in God and in the world as God wants it.

This programme, Alleluia, was first broadcast in 2009.