Documentaries Prògraman Aithriseachd

[Alasdair] Uill tha mi a’ smaoineachadh nuair a bha mi mu fhichead bliadhna a dh’aois gur ann a thòisich e a’ dèanamh dragh dhomh gu ìre ’s nach b’ urrainn dhomh a mhothachadh. Bha e a’ dèanamh dragh dhomh nach, bha fios a’m nam bàsachainn agus gun mi ag earbsa ann an Crìosd gun robh mi gu bhith caillte, gun robh mi mar a bha An Fhìrinn ag ràdh, am Bìoball ag ràdh, gun robh mi a’ dol a dh’Ifrinn, agus chùm sin a’ dol, tha mi a’ creidsinn, mu thrì mìosan. Nis, a h-uile turas a dheighinn dhan eaglais an uair sin bha mi ag èisteachd. Cha b’ urrainn dhomh gun a bhith ag èisteachd. Bha e mar gum biodh am ministear a’ bruidhinn rium, ach bha mi fhathast dìreach a’ sabaid na aghaidh ’s na aghaidh ’s na aghaidh, gun tàinig e dìreach gu àm far nach b’ urrainn dhomh. Bha eagal mo bheatha orm gum falbhadh an rud, gum falbhadh na strìthean a bha seo ’s gum fàgadh An Cruithear mi ’s nach biodh, nach fhaireachdainn seo a-chaoidh tuilleadh nam bheatha ’s gum bithinn caillte agus thàinig e chun an àm far am b’ fheudar dhomh dìreach aideachadh uill tha mi ag iarraidh A’ Chruitheir nas motha na tha mi ag iarraidh mo bheatha ’s na rudan a bha gam cheangal ’s gam chumail air ais.

[Alasdair] Mu dhà bhliadhna deug no trì bliadhna deug thòisich mi a’ faireachdainn an toiseach gun robh An Cruithear ag iarraidh orm a dhol a-steach airson na ministearalachd agus, ò, cha robh mi ga iarraidh idir, idir, idir. Cha bu chaomh leam a bhith a’ studaigeadh, sin a bu choireach gun do dh’fhàg mi an sgoil nuair a bha mi seachd bliadhna deug. Cha bu chaomh leam a bhith a-staigh. ’S e duine a bh’ annam a bha a-muigh cho tric ’s a ghabhadh. Cha robh càil a b’ fheàrr leam na bhith ag obair air croit no caoraich no rud sam bith a-muigh seach a bhith a-staigh. Dh’fhaighnich am ministear a b’ àbhaist a bhith agam ann an Calanais rium, air an robh Neil Shaw, ’s thuirt e rium mum bheil mi air mo mhealladh tha An Cruithear a’ bruidhinn riut agus, ò, bha mi dìreach, bha mi a’ faireachdainn uabhasach. Sin an rud mu dheireadh a bha mi ag iarraidh a chluinntinn bho chun an sin bha mi a’ faighinn air toirt a chreidsinn orm fhìn gur e dìreach, fhios agad, rud a bha mi fhìn a’ smaoineachadh a bh’ ann ’s nach robh e dha-rìribh, ach dh’aithnich mi nuair a bhruidhinn esan rium gur ann bhon Chruithear a fhuair e e, an rud a thuirt e, agus nach b’ urrainn dhòmhsa an uair sin cur na aghaidh ’s bha mi dìreach uabhasach troimh-chèile mu dheidhinn bhon ’s e seo an rud mu dheireadh a bha mi a’ miannachadh a dhèanamh agus bha mi cuideachd a’ faicinn nach robh mi iomchaidh air a shon.

[Alasdair] Phòs mi ann an dà mhìle ’s a h-aon, bho chionn naoi bliadhna, agus dh’inns mi dha Màiri mus do phòs sinn, thuirt mi rithe chan eil mi a’ creidsinn nach eil An Cruithear ag iarraidh orm a dhol a-steach airson na ministearalachd agus ma tha, thuirt mi, às bith dè cho cruaidh ’s a bhios mise a’ strì na aghaidh thig àm far nach urrainn dhomh ach gabhail ris. ’S bha ise leagte gu leòr ris an sin. Phòs sinn agus chaidh sinn a dh’fhuireach ann an Nis agus bha an taigh againn an ìre mhath air a reic, an taigh a bh’ aig Màiri ann an sin, bha e an ìre mhath air a reic ach rinn An Cruithear aithnichte dhuinn gu math soilleir gun robh E ag iarraidh oirnn fuireach ann an Nis. Bha an dithis againn a’ faireachdainn gun robh còir againn obair a dhèanamh leis an òigridh an sin, nàdar deyouth fellowship. Ach dh’fhuirich sinn ann an Nis ’s thòisich sinn youth fellowship agus ’s e bliadhnaichean iongantach a bha sin. Chòrd iad rinn mìorbhaileach agus thug e atharrachadh air tòrr dhaoine òga agus ’s e rud iongantach a bha sin ’s rud a thug togail mhòr dhuinne ’s rud a chòrd rinn a bhith ag obair am measg na h-òigridh ’s a’ cur eòlas air na ceudan aca thairis air na bliadhnaichean a bha sinn ann.

[Alasdair] Ach ’s dòcha bho chionn trì bliadhna no mar sin, no ceithir bliadhna, thòisich seo a-rithist – “uill chan e seo an t-àite anns a bheil Mi ag iarraidh ort a bhith. Tha Mi ag iarraidh ort a bhith nad mhinistear”. Agus bha mise fhathast a’ strì an aghaidh sin, agus aon oidhche bha mi a’ tighinn a-mach à taigh-fhaire ann an Nis agus rug am boireannach a bha seo orm le a gàirdean ’s cha tuirt i “halò” no “ciamar a tha thu?” no càil ach thuirt i dìreach rium “cuin a tha thu gu bhith umhail ” agus bha fios agamsa anns a’ bhad dè bha i a’ ciallachadh, gur ann a thaobh a dhol a-steach airson na ministearalachd. Nis cha robh mise a’ bruidhinn ri duine mu dheidhinn ach Màiri a’ bhean agam, ach ’s e An Cruithear Fhèin a thug oirre sin a ràdh agus thuirt mi rithe dìreach “cha bhi e fada” agus thug sin orm a dhol a bhruidhinn ris a’ mhinistear mu dheidhinn. Ghluais cùisean air adhart às dèidh sin ’s thàinig sinn sìos a Dhùn Èideann bho chionn bliadhna airson trèanadh airson na ministearalachd.

[Alasdair] Chan e an rud as fhasa a th’ ann, a’ studaigeadh, agus tha an t-uabhas dheth ann agus bha mise, tha mi a’ creidsinn, ochd bliadhna deug bho rinn mi studaigeadh sam bith, bho dh’fhàg mi a’ cholaiste agus cha do rinn mi càil anns an ùine sin gu bho chionn bliadhna no dhà nuair a thòisich mi dìreach a’ dèanamh beagan leughaidh airson ’s fhios agam gun robh mi a’ tighinn a-steach an seo. Agus tha e gu math duilich. ’S e ceum mòr a th’ ann do theaghlach gluasad à, gu sònraichte à àite, à baile far a bheil thu eòlach air a h-uile duine, gu baile mòr mar Dhùn Èideann. Tha triùir de theaghlach againn. Tha am balach as sine a tha seachd, Luke, tha nighean a tha còig, Emma, agus tè bheag a bhios trì, Ceit, agus tha, bha sin a’ dèanamh dragh dhomh barrachd bho cho-dhùin mise, no bho ghabh mi ris, gum feumainn an ceum-sa a ghabhail bha sìth agam a thaobh sin, gun robh còir agam, gun robh mi a’ dèanamh an rud ceart. Bha fhathast tòrr rudan a bhiodh a’ dèanamh dragh dhut mu dheidhinn dè mar a dh’obraicheas seo dhan chloinn ’s rinn sinn tòrr deasbaid mu dheidhinn an tigeadh iad còmhla rinn no an deighinn fhìn sìos. Tha mi toilichte a-nis gun tàinig an teaghlach gu lèir agus a h-uile rud a bha a’ dèanamh dragh dhuinne mar sin, cha robh adhbhar dha dragh sam bith a dhèanamh. Rèitich An Cruithear Fhèin iad agus tha fios agam pàirt dheth ’s e freagairt ùrnaigh a th’ ann cuideachd ach pàirt dheth cuideachd tha mi a’ creidsinn nuair a tha thu umhail dhan rud a tha An Cruithear ag iarraidh ort gu bheil E Fhèin a’ dol romhad ’s gu bheil E Fhèin a’ dèanamh na slighe rèidh romhad.

Chaidh am prògram seo, Alleluia, a chraoladh an toiseach ann an 2010.

[Alasdair] Well I think when I was about 20 years old it started bothering me to such an extent that I could not understand it. It was bothering me that, I knew that if I died and had not trusted in Christ that I was going to be lost, that I was as the Truth says, the Bible says, that I was going to Hell, and that carried on, I think, about three months. Now, every time that I went to church then I heard. I could not not listen. It was as though the minister was speaking to me, but I was still just fighting against it and against it and against it, until it came to a time where I could not. I was terrified that the feeling would leave, that these battles would leave and that the Lord would leave me and that I would not, I would not feel this ever again in my life and that I would be lost and it came to the time where I had to just admit that I want the Lord more than I want my life and the things that bind me and keep me back.

[Alasdair] Twelve or thirteen years ago I initially started sensing that the Lord wanted me to go into ministry and, oh, I did not want it at all, at all, at all. I do not like studying, that is why I left school when I was seventeen. I do not like to be indoors. I was a person that was outside as often as possible. I preferred nothing more than working on a croft or sheep or anything outside instead of being indoors. Our previous minister in Callanish, whose name was Neil Shaw, asked me and he said if I carry on deceiving myself, the Lord is speaking to you and, oh, I was just, I felt terrible. That was the last thing that I wanted to hear because until then I was able to convince myself that it was just, you know, it was something that I thought and that it was not true, but I recognised when he spoke to me that he had received it, the thing he had said, from the Lord, and that I could not then go against it and I was just terribly worried about it because this was the last thing that I wished to do and I also saw that I was not suitable for it.

[Alasdair] I married in 2001, nine years ago, and I told Mairi before we married, I said to her I think that the Lord wants me to go into the ministry and if so, I said, regardless of how hard I battle against it a time will come when I can only just accept it. And she was content enough with that. We married and we went to live in Ness and our house was all but sold, Mairi’s house there, it was all but sold but the Lord made it very apparent to us that He wanted us to stay in Ness. The pair of us felt that we ought to work with the youngsters there, a sort of youth fellowship. But we stayed in Ness and we started a youth fellowship and those were remarkable years. We thoroughly enjoyed them and it changed many youngsters and that was a remarkable thing and something that encouraged us greatly and something that we enjoyed, working with youngsters, and getting to know the hundreds of them over the years that we were there.

[Alasdair] But maybe three or so years ago, or four years ago, this started again – “well this is not the place that I want you to be. I want you to be a minister”. And I was still battling against that, and one night I was coming out of a watch-house in Ness and this woman took hold of me with her arm and she did not say “hello” or “how are you?” or anything but she just said “when are you going to pay attention and I knew immediately what she meant, that it was with regards going into the ministry. Now I had not spoken to anyone but Mairi my wife about it, but it was the Lord Himself that made her say that and I just said to her “it will not be long” and that made me go to speak to the minister about it. Things moved forward after that and we came down to Edinburgh a year ago for the ministry training.

[Alasdair] It is not the easiest thing, studying, and there is lots of it and I was, I think, eighteen years since I did any studying, since I left college and I did not do anything in that time until a year or two ago when I started just doing a little reading as I knew that I was coming in here. And it is very difficult. It is a big step for a family to move from, especially from a place, from a village when you know everyone, to a city like Edinburgh. We have three children. The oldest boy who is seven, Luke, a girl who is five, Emma, and the little one who will be three, Kate, and that did bother me more since I concluded, or since I accepted, that I must take this step I had peace about that, that I had to, that I was doing the right thing. But there are many things that will bother you about how this will work for the children and we debated a lot about would they could with us or would I go down myself. I am happy now that the whole family came and everything like that that was bothering us, it had no reason to cause any bother. The Lord resolved them and I know that part of it is an answer to prayer too but part of it is also I believe when you are heedful to what the Lord wants of you that He Himself goes before you and that He Himself smooths the way before you.

This programme, Alleluia, was first broadcast in 2010.